Too much time on social media or feeling frustrated from unfulfilled desires can quickly leave me feeling inadequate. It’s a naturally occurring phenomena where we spend extended periods of our lives let down by the failed expectations of our failed ambitions. Unfortunately life satisfaction isn’t on the agenda much as we’re being reared as a functional members of society. Our contribution to society is strictly output based, so extent to which we feel satisfied while playing a small role in the capitalist machine receives no interest. That is why it is fundamental for your own humanity you take responsibility for the satisfaction of your life and make time to ‘Stop and smell the roses’ and add some more perspective to your livelihood by learning to practice gratitude. Gratitude, the practice of being grateful for what we do transforms the way we interpret our surroundings and experiences for the better. Money can buy you every material possession you could ever dream of, but without a true appreciation for it, it does not move the proverbial needle of fulfilment. What is the point in taking all the right actions in life, fulfilling all your dreams to spend all but fleeting moments stressed, angst and/or empty? The practiced practice of gratitude is effortless because you don’t need to do anything differently, but it does require a nuanced understanding of the practice, so let me explain further…
How to instil gratitude into your life
Gratitude is the ability to fully appreciate what you have. To fully grasp the privilege of your possessions and experiences. I have been watching American TV series Alone recently, where contestants trained in bushtucker and other survivalist skills attempt to survive the unforgiving conditions of Northern Canada as winter sets in. Imagine, 90 days removed from usual sustenance, how much a warm meal would mean to you. These contestants literally jump for joy, well up and cry when they finally find food. These same people wouldn’t react like that at home though. Even though the meals they’re having in their homes are far better. Fortunately it is not essential we starve to appreciate food. We simply have to pay attention and focus. I don’t mean sitting in a dark room slowly chewing each mouthful of food. You can show gratitude eating sat down with the family or even in front of the TV. Just direct your full awareness on each bite for a split second, take it all in – that’s it. Gratitude is simple, it’s just a matter of doing it often enough you find an abundance of it day-to-day. If you’re still struggling imagine that bite were your last. Imagine this day were your last or like you’d never eat this food again. Like this is your last chance to imprint a nostalgic memory of this moment to hold in your mind forever. Gratitude is therefore a an ability to one, hold an awareness for passing experiences. And two, acknowledge the depth and privilege of that same experience.
Gratitude is all about removing your own subjectivity from the situation
No one sees the world through objectivity, no one. Humans apply their own prejudices, resentments, insecurities, moods, preferences etc. onto the world at all times. Our worldview is subjective; one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Where one culture sees a life threatening scorpion, another sees a tasty delicacy. If you can get over your historic patterns of behaviour you will quickly realise you always have a choice to decide how something makes you feel. And naturally you are the director of how you feel on a moment to moment basis. And at the same time, perhaps even more importantly, you realise the faux pas that near everyone holds – the belief that problems ‘out there’, outside of one’s control and responsibility, are in fact internal choices. ‘Your stuff’ gets offended, triggered and reacts. You react negatively. YOU get fed up queueing in traffic and you choose to swear and curse into thin air in frustration. I’m not saying it’s easy, but you can choose to not react. Practice gratitude on tasks that have a low demand on mental bandwidth that occur frequently. Everyday tasks like walking, cooking or cleaning can be done at a blissful pace with a conscientious focus on appreciation. That’s the beauty of a gratitude practice, you don’t have to do it any faster or slower than usual, no one has to know. It’s just about making a choice to enjoy the experience, to see the upside of every moment as you go about your daily business. Perception is reality. So choose to live well. Squeeze every last drop of life out of every moment the best you can (- the juice is worth the squeeze!). Appreciate every moment as if it were your last because our most precious commodity is time, and one day we will run out.
Sometimes life is too overwhelming to practice gratitude.
I get it, it’s not always easy or possible to practice gratitude. But we can’t expect to be happy and resilient all the time. Life has the tendency to eat us up and spit us back out again when we least expect it. We’re going to face unimaginable hardship and it will of course feel impossible to ‘look at the positives’ in such situations, and that is of course a reasonable exception. If I got fired from my job and hit by a bus in the same day there’d be little chance I would be able to focus on the abundance of my other job prospects and medical care. Just remember gratitude isn’t an all or nothing strategy to life. It’s a tool in the toolbox to be used as and when it can serve you. Some days we’ll be under so much stress, so short on time and so crushed by the challenges at hand, just surviving that day is a success in itself. All we can do is try our best. And often our best is obtained with a seemingly insignificant commitment to ourselves each day that we can build on the next as an investment in our future lives.
Conclusion
The practice of gratitude is simple enough to understand, it just needs repetition. With the principles described in mind you’ll find your own anecdotal examples of pleasures that enable you to see your life through rose tinted glasses. And although certain times will be more challenging that others a commitment to bettering yourself will ultimately see you take an upward trajectory in the long term regardless. We of course have material goals that we should continue to chase. But as cliché as it might sound, life is about the journey and not the destination.